she'd/she had.
thanks for noticing it thrashduck all sorted and corrected now
that a prime example for my multiple edits.

imagine a designated shed for farting in.bit like an outdoor loo,but just for guests who have a lot of uncontrollable wind!

radioactive rik wrote:she'd/she had.
thanks for noticing it thrashduck all sorted and corrected now
that a prime example for my multiple edits.

imagine a designated shed for farting in.bit like an outdoor loo,but just for guests who have a lot of uncontrollable wind!

I didn't even mean that! I meant like when you shed something, as in lose it or it escapes...

I thought you meant shed as in a spree of something. "Let the fart shed begin!"

radioactive rik wrote:she'd/she had.
thanks for noticing it thrashduck all sorted and corrected now
that a prime example for my multiple edits.

imagine a designated shed for farting in.bit like an outdoor loo,but just for guests who have a lot of uncontrollable wind!

Mate i wouldn't even worry about it, this is the way glorious catchphrases are born!

Fart Shed!

I may have to enquire about having a fart shed temporarily put up at the bonestorm streetfighter tournament,if not,at least the bogs of the pub are upstairs right outside the function room.
im sure any of our farts will be confined to the function room,(theres plenty of windows if we need to fumigate the contaminated area)i hope no1 has chemically toxic vapours strong enough to spread all the way downstairs.

i remember on a ski trip i horribly misjudged the time we would be on the slopes for, whilst drinking copious amounts of water, anyway when i got back i did a paul and pissed like 20 seconds from the lav, it was ok as there was no one to see my blunder and i found a can of lynx and a carrier bag to expertly conceal any evidence.

shitting up the walls though, really?

I remember the worst part of my disaster was some popeye themed underwear I had to throw out.

It was like, "Mum, where are my popeye pants?"

"...Yeah, they're ruined...."

With Sunny Delight?

You shit Sunny Delight!

Too many to mention for this thread so just one story of each tonight -

Piss.

I had to view a house I wanted to buy so promised I'd stay off the booze the night before, next day I was awoken by the estate agent on the phone asking where I was. Not realizing i woke up still bladdered, I ran to the house to honour the viewing only to realise that I'd pissed the bed in my sleep and turned up in the same sodden clothes. i'll never forget the look in her eyes. I was 21.

Shit.

I was an assistant manager of a pub going to a shift on my pushbike, only to do a sloppy wet fart all in and over my gruds which spread because of the shape of the seat. I dived into the bushes, whipped off my pants and wiped myself down with my undies, hung them on a branch for someone to find then did the rest of my shift commando. I was 19.

(mildly off-topic) Fart

Loudest one I ever did was when it woke my dad up in the next room and he cheered, laughed then fell back asleep.

haha that fart must of been impressive! and the reaction would probably be the same from my dad.

Loudest one I ever did was when it woke my dad up in the next room and he cheered, laughed then fell back asleep.

You have no idea how cool that is...

H.O.D. Feemo wrote:i'll never forget the look in her eyes. I was 21.

Aahhhh, that's fantastic.

Metal Iain wrote:Photos or it didn't.

It just sounds like the urban legend that everyone tells. The 'I know a guy who did his bird in the arse and he ended up with a bit of sweetcorn lodged under his foreskin' one is slightly more common than the one you just told, though. As is the 'I know a guy who did his bird in arse on the couch, pulled out at the wrong time, shit went on the couch, the dog was blamed and eventually put down, leaving the girl guilt-ridden and the guy believing himself to be a living legend.'

I've heard that one

I worked in a hotel restaurant when I was 15 (my first job haha), I was in work one day and had already done some chronic farts that day (like toxic bad), so letting one blow in this kitchen (i was wokring in there with a fat old greek woman [who called me daviiiey ] and her slow old greek husband) didn't really seem a problem...

until the fart was shed... to start off, it felt a bit funny..... not good sign.... then there was the smell..... like the horrible smell of some REALLY bad shit.... and then I noticed a slight bit of damp, badness... I went to the loo to see what had happened, alas, some what must've been incredibly runny poo was inside my pants

oh dear, it was SO embarrasing, and I couldn't just carry on working, and there was NO WAY I would've told them what had really happened, so I said I felt really ill and got my parents to come pick me up (I had my bike... not a good idea to ride with cacky pants)... I bet I stank and they were all just nice about it, getting home was heaven, clean bum and clean pants - score!

oh god I can't believe I just told that story

My ex used to cook for me whenever I'd visit her (yeeeh!) and I'd thank her by doing the previously mentioned 'fart under ye duvet' move.

She cooked me a lovely pie, and then had the rest of it in some sort of casserole thing, and then I proceeded to ruin her house for 2 days. The smell just wouldn't shift.

I can honestly say, I was very proud of myself.



So, down to business, who else has farted while receiving a blow job?