MartinC wrote:Nah... it's just a boring plant, so that if I ever bring a girl back here she'll think I'm grown up.

Imagine the scene:

"Oh Martin, a Spider Plant, how mature you must be, I only came to your room to borrow a book but now feel compelled to let you screw me!"

I'm afraid that's pretty much what I had in mind.

You had me at books

Would you not have been better buying some rohypnol??

Shugmaster wrote:Would you not have been better buying some rohynpnol??

The plant was cheaper - I'd already spent all my money on a coat.

MartinC wrote:

Shugmaster wrote:Would you not have been better buying some rohynpnol??

The plant was cheaper - I'd already spent all my money on a coat.

Coat/date rape drug???? Coat was the right choice Can't beat a good coat at this time of year.

It's a proper trendy one with little pictures of boomboxes all over it, makes me look right gangsta. I'm gonna wear it when I go back to Matlock this weekend to show them all that I've found my fortune.

MartinC wrote:It's a proper trendy one with little pictures of boomboxes all over it, makes me look right gangsta. I'm gonna wear it when I go back to Matlock this weekend to show them all that I've found my fortune.

Nice I am rocking the modern GAP parka look again this year. Supporting child labour across the globe!

Game, set and match player haters, for I have the ultimate coat:



It's from Next, cost ninety Queen heads and is impervious to cold weather and rain!

P.S. I am sexier than the greying prick Next hired to model my excellent coat.

Metal Iain wrote:Game, set and match player haters, for I have the ultimate coat:



It's from Next, cost ninety Queen heads and is impervious to cold weather and rain!

P.S. I am sexier than the greying prick Next hired to model my excellent coat.

Hmm... lots of people seem to be getting those big long coats. Sooner or later I'm going to have to follow suit, lest I not fit in.

What's that expression?

"I wish my hair wasn't the same colour as my coat"?

MartinC wrote:

Metal Iain wrote:Game, set and match player haters, for I have the ultimate coat:



It's from Next, cost ninety Queen heads and is impervious to cold weather and rain!

P.S. I am sexier than the greying prick Next hired to model my excellent coat.

Hmm... lots of people seem to be getting those big long coats. Sooner or later I'm going to have to follow suit, lest I not fit in.

Just buy one and then you can laugh at all the UK Thrash tossers wearing inappropriately short leather jackets.

If you don't want to spend as much as my mother made me spend, just go to Primark. They have lots of good clothes for very little and their sizes are quite sensible, so if you can't be ringed trying anything on in their frankly inadequate fitting rooms, all will end up hunky-slamming-dory.

Besides, big long coats just look cooler than Tupac clawing for air on the pavement with 18 bullets in his chest and face.

thrashduck wrote:What's that expression?

"I wish my hair wasn't the same colour as my coat"?

Nah, that expression is actually:

'Since I've bought this amazing coat that my mother sprayed with Scotch Guard (or its coat-friendly equivalent), I've had my knob worn down do a useless stump by Nordic Goddesses who are very vocal in their appreciation of amazing coats.

On the vaguely relevant topic of shoes, the most I have ever spent on a pair is £40, for the Adidas ones I have now:



I was reluctant to shell out that much, as I don't normally like to spend half of that sum on footwear, but my mum suggested I did, as they would 'last longer' - well they don't seem to be worn out at all after a few months, so maybe it was a good move.

Velcro?!

PAH!

Laces are way more 'happening' and 'with it'. Actually, this is probably a lie seeing as I've noticed an increase in the usage of trainers and, therefore, Velcro.

I need to track down a pair of sensible brown leather shoes, about which birds are going to say 'God! Nice shoes Iain! I never realised you had such an up-to-date grasp of male fashion. That being said, will you take me to bed and show me what it's like to feel like a woman being 'dragged kicking and screamining into the horizon of sexual oblivion''?