It was a good five years ago. I didn't know what the fuck I was doing. This is just one story from a litany of awfulness. I used to be an out-of-control, misguided fool who did questionable things. It took the threat of prison to straighten me out.

That's worse than the Jackass puke omelette, because it was someone elses...

WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT?!?!

I want to weep.

Do that twice... and you'll be banned from drinking.

doing that once should be a ban from social events

std_caps was a black metals rebel

STD_Caps wrote:

Shugmaster wrote:I remember a work colleague downing a pint on a night out and then 20 seconds later puking it back into the same glass. Nice.

I used to throw up all the time from drinking when I was in my late teens. Pink Panther's were especially bad for inducing vomit. Caffrey's was always a bad one for me too.

This reminds me of a particularly shameful and unpleasant tale.

My friends and I were going out on the piss and our mate Rich was meeting us at the pub late. So, when he arrived we were a little tipsy and he decided to play catch up and bought a four-pint pitcher to himself. My friends and I egged him on to down all the pints one after the other. He declined because he had just eaten and knew he wouldn't be able to keep much down. Then one of my friends said that I'd down whatever he brought up. So he started down these pints and it was long before his spluttering and splurging straight back into the pitcher. He kept downing immediately after each acidic deposit. Afterwards my friends poured the vom into pint glasses - two full pints...

So I picked up the first pint. It looked like a strawberry smoothie because of his tomato and chicken based dinner. It stank something rotten and the glass was really warm. So I lifted the glass high above my head, letting it catch the light and necked the first pint. I didn't gag but it was absolutely foul. It was that disgusting inside-of-a-body temperature and has that acidic burn that you just don't look for in a beverage. When I went for the second pint, a bouncer had picked it up and taken it away.

All in all, a very disgusting time.

Good lord, that is awful. You're a terrible man.

My favourite was when our merch guy was sat on the bog having a crap after drinking a litre of bacardi, he leaned forward and threw upa full takeaway in the crotch of his pants around his ankles!

I gave him some spare combat pants, when I saw them again they had the legs chopped off into shorts and Napalm death patches sewn onto them. They looked miles better on him than me, gutted.

Lev - Pulverizer wrote:

STD_Caps wrote:

Shugmaster wrote:I remember a work colleague downing a pint on a night out and then 20 seconds later puking it back into the same glass. Nice.

I used to throw up all the time from drinking when I was in my late teens. Pink Panther's were especially bad for inducing vomit. Caffrey's was always a bad one for me too.

This reminds me of a particularly shameful and unpleasant tale.

My friends and I were going out on the piss and our mate Rich was meeting us at the pub late. So, when he arrived we were a little tipsy and he decided to play catch up and bought a four-pint pitcher to himself. My friends and I egged him on to down all the pints one after the other. He declined because he had just eaten and knew he wouldn't be able to keep much down. Then one of my friends said that I'd down whatever he brought up. So he started down these pints and it was long before his spluttering and splurging straight back into the pitcher. He kept downing immediately after each acidic deposit. Afterwards my friends poured the vom into pint glasses - two full pints...

So I picked up the first pint. It looked like a strawberry smoothie because of his tomato and chicken based dinner. It stank something rotten and the glass was really warm. So I lifted the glass high above my head, letting it catch the light and necked the first pint. I didn't gag but it was absolutely foul. It was that disgusting inside-of-a-body temperature and has that acidic burn that you just don't look for in a beverage. When I went for the second pint, a bouncer had picked it up and taken it away.

All in all, a very disgusting time.

Good lord, that is awful. You're a terrible man.

I once saw him drink some piss from a bottle, and he gave a lovely big smile afterwards. That's a pleasant Caps story.

Wow that story made me feel a tad sick myself.

Eugh, I've never speaking to him again. Bad, BAD man.

The Jekyl and Hyde booze antics of Caps!!

I was at Hobbits (local 'metal' club) with a couple of mates, bearing in mind it must've been midnight or later by this point, we were pretty hammered and went for a massive joint in my mates car, then back for drinks, and were drinking pretty fast, then my mate burped but puked a bit on the table/bar thing we were stood at, then he ran to the toilets.. 10 mins later we thought we'd go check on him, the whole toilets smells of puke and its all over the floor, and there's a load of different coloured puke in the sink! He'd gone in to throw up and just about made the toilet, but when he went to the sink to wash, it was already full of puke (someone elses), and it made him puke again, this time ALL OVER the floor, how amusing!!

Mannnn I have so many puking stories, not just of me, but I've heard some GREAT ones off my mates, this is probably my fave:

My mate was at a crazy house party with schooolfreinds, I guess he was around 16.. Basically, they were really wrecked and he started feeling dodgy, so headed to the loo to go and puke/ chill out whatever, and as he was staggering in the direction of the bog, a girl (must've lied on the floor) stuck her face in front/under his to say hi and ask if he was ok, dun dun duuuunnnnnn, he fucking puked right in her face, all over it! sick story

I've never ever pukd from just smoking weed, and I pretty much never puke from just drinking, usually a combo will finish me off, but I gotta drink LOADS really fast before I puke, but I find it too easy to do that when out on the lash... Like last time I went to Hobbits, got there after having a pre-going out drinky and it's £12 all you can drink, now I don't know about you guys, but that seems like a challenge to me, I've paid my money and I have to drink all I can after about 15 double rum and cokes and a few spliffs outside within the space of an hour and a half, I was mashed, went outside and proceeded to throw up loads of brown syrupy-style vom that shit burns your nose so bad!!!

Last one for now, and the reason why I HATE COFFEE! Second day of college, ever, and not being an avid coffee drinker, I decided to give a Mocha a try, since it was what all my mates were drinking and I thought it wasn't bad, so drank a few during the morning/ early afternoon. By about midday, one of my mates was really ill and puking, we didnt see him again that day, guess he went home... later on, in my last lesson I started to get real bad stomch cramps and it felt like my stomach was trying to explode, but I didn't feel sick yet. Went outta lesson to just try and chill out, drank some water, but I wasn't feeling any better, just getting worse and now I was starting to get a bit of a cold sweat on... not good... bearing in mind my college was 20 miles from my house, and a 45/50min bus ride, feeling ill on the bus is NOT a good thing! By the time it was 4:40 and we were getting on the bus, I felt ABSOLUTELY terrible, apparantly my face was completely white and everything seemed pretty spaced out and confusing... Sat on the top deck while going down the motorway, I was stood in the aisle with the window open just to get some fresh air blowing in my face... My mate started doing the same and it turns out that he felt just as terrible as me, and had done for at least an hour! This is where it gets bad, as we both feel really sick, my mate actually needs to puke and tellls this guy sat under him when he had his head outta the window to get out of his way because of that... he didn't move, my mate tried to throw up out of the window, whilst going down the motorway, he half missed the window, puking all over this guy that didn't move , but the worst part was when all the rest of his puke SPRAYED BACK IN through the window!!!! Everyone on the back of the bus was showered in my mates lovely stomach virus induced puke, it smelt vile, puke and coffee, I ran down the stairs and attempted to hold on the contents of my stomach, feeling like I was gonna die, I got off the bus a mile early and fucking chucked my guts up, that's the single worst feeling of my life EVER, my stomach and throat were in agony, and I had to walk the rest of the way home, never drank coffee since, and the smell always reminds me of being sick!

If you read all of that, well done

That was rather unpleasant.

My worst experiences with the vom do not involve me doing the gunk-chucking (apart from one, which I think I've told on here before). They actually involve ladies:

One of my ex-girlfriends twice puked in unpleasant places (neither my mouth).
One night we were going out on a Sunday to a heavy metal club and I wasn't drinking for one reason or another. Liz had been on holiday, wasn't going to come out but changed her mind and got absolutely wrecked. She drank fuckloads on the bus to the club and we all got off at Oxford Circus and she started going spare, I'm not sure why. Anyway, in the end, she sat down in the street and started crying and I decided to take her home leaving everyone else to go have some fun. I supported Liz to the cab rank because I didn't think she'd be able to handle a bus. The gent in the cab told me it would set me back about fifty quid. Not what I want to spend my money on but I want my poor girlfriend to have an easy trip home. Two minutes in the cab and she mumbles 'I'm gonna be sick'. We manage to roll the window a little and then sick flies half-out, half-in. The cab driver understandably goes mental and kicks us out, even though I try to explain the worst is out here system. We end up getting the night bus home anyway Liz asleep in my lap occasionally dribbling sick into my crotch.

Another time, with the same girlfriend, she was sick behind someone's bed. She'd been 'difficult' all night and then gone to bed and puked up against the wall and the back of bed. The problem was this wasn't a pullout bed and it was fixed in position. All this purple, stinking sick was stuck behind this bed and right by a radiator, spreading the stench brilliantly. In the morning, while Liz was still sleeping, knowing she would be in no state to clean it up I went to work on it. Liz work when I was nearly done, looking mightily sheepish.

Finally, my friend Bill and I were sharing my bed after a particularly wild night (she headbanged a massive cut into her nose, the daft girl). During the night she threw up right next to me, covered it with her coat and went back to sleep. The mess in the morning that I woke to discover was not nice. Peas and dumplings all over my pillows and bed covers...

Crazy ladies...

Wait... you have a friend who's a girl who's called Bill?

THIS makes me ill.

Her?