There's probably already one for jokes but as I can't find it...

How many metalheads does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Four. One to actually do it, and the other three to argue over who did it first

What happens when you put 5 emo kids in a quadratic room?
One of them dies, because he has no corner to cry in.

How many emo kids does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them

One year a father bought his son a bass for Christmas. That summer he sent his kid to lessons once a week.
After the first lesson he asked his son what he learned. "The first four note of the E string."
The next week his son went to lessons, the father asked his son what he learned. "The first four notes of the A string."
The third week his father asked his son what he learned. "The first four notes of the D string." He was pleased with his son's progress.
After a month of lessons, the father asked his son what he learned in lessons that week. "The first four notes of the G string."
After the fifth week, the father asked his son what he learned in lessons.
"Well jeez dad, I don't go to lessons any more."
"Why the hell not, son?"
"I'm in a band!"

How can you tell a drummer's knocking on your door?
The knocking speeds up!

Why's a drum machine better than a real drummer?
It can actually keep time and it won't sleep with your girlfriend.

What is the definition of "making love"?
Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her.

terrorizer wrote:What happens when you put 5 emo kids in a quadratic room?
One of them dies, because he has no corner to cry in.

These were all awesome.

Bring out the dead baby jokes!

haha, I like the one about making love!

Three gay guys are sat in a bath when all of a sudden a bubble of sperm floats to the top of the water... One of the gay guys says, "aww, who's farted?"

Hahahaha

Hostile wrote:

terrorizer wrote:What happens when you put 5 emo kids in a quadratic room?
One of them dies, because he has no corner to cry in.

These were all awesome.

Bring out the dead baby jokes!

An old Stephen King joke;
"What's the difference between a truck load of bowling balls,and a truckload of newborn babies?"
"You can't unload a truckload of bowling balls with a pitchfork"

How do you get 100 babies into a bucket?
With a blender!

How do you get them out again?
With tortilla chips!!!

What do you get when you dislocate a dead baby's jaw?
Deep Throat

Why do you stick a baby in the blender feet first?
So you can see the expression on its face!

http://www.dead-baby-joke.com/introduction.htm SICK FUCKERS
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/alexpetty/babyjoke.htm REAL SICK FUCKERS

what's 12 inches long, pink, hard and drives women mad?

cot death

I love the ones with the brutal punch lines you don't expect.

Like this simple little gem:

"what's worse than finding a worm in your apple?"

Rape.

James wrote:Like this simple little gem:

"what's worse than finding a worm in your apple?"

Rape.

that's an old classic

What do you call 5 mexicans in quicksand?

A dangerous situation that could soon turn tragic.

Two men are in a busy pub, one of them says; "I bet I can get any woman in here"

The other guy, intrigued, asks: "How come?"

- "Because I'm a rapist."

What did cinderella do when she got to the ball?


Gagged.

Q: What's long, pink, and hard?

A: The crossword in the Financial Times.

/thread

Chap walks up to the till in Asda,unzips his trousers and slaps his circumcised knob down and says "let's see you roll this fucker back!"

I am not being held responsible for the following jokes:

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender?

An erection.

and

What did the baby say when it was put in a blender?

I don't know I was too busy masturbating.

A bloke is in the bath with his little lad.

"Dad, why is your willy bigger than mine?"

"Well son, for a start you don't have a hard-on."