I'm sure there is worse, but I'm also sure it will probably happen to me too...

HAHAHAH Hosed you down...

just before i went to bed last night,a while after making this thread,i checked it again and not much else had been posted.
then just got on the forum 10mins ago and see 3 pages of absolutely hilarious stories,ive been laughing all the way through and there are so many embarassing scenarios,so im glad i made this topic after all,as i can now feel less ashamed knowing im not the only one
and like other have been saying its a funny thread.

i also remember when in year 3 that i wasnt allowed by the teacher to go to toilet for a wee(and possible,not urgent poo)all afternoon.the bitch!
on the way home my mum had to pop in the newsagents,i couldnt hold it any longer so went to go for a wee round the side,as i was weeing,the shit just forced its way out and i started crying.my mum got out the shop and i said what had happened.we walked halfway home then stopped at someone we knews house(who had 2 daughters at the same school, who we sometimes walked with)to clean myself up.we put the soiled pants in a carrier bag and disposed of them when we finally made it home.school wasnt far but afte something like this it seemed like forever to get home.

Your stories are just tragic mate.

yeah MartinC,they were ultra tragic at the time but years later they make rather funny stories.

your story was pretty grim.i was worried that you were gonna crap the bed with her still lying there.
so if you look at it that way it coulda been a lot worse
im so glad for you that the story didnt finish with a badder ending

i know a mate who after a night out,got back to his house(lives with parents)with his girlfriend and went to do it on his bedroom floor.
he let his bird go on top and as she was riding him,she was sick all over him(face included)
he had to push her off,pull out,get some boxers on,and get both of them to the bathroom a.s.a.p.(he just put a large tshirt on her)
he had to have a shower as well as keep an eye on her while she knelt at the bog to carry on/finish being sick(then wash/brush teeth etc)
they then just went to bed.they sorted the sick soaked carpet the next day

Haha, yeah I was really really lucky considering. It was literally 5 minutes after she left. I'm surprised it didn't happen whilst she was there, because one of my favourite past-times with her in bed was to do a horrible fart then pull the covers up over her head, whilst giggling like a school girl. Imagine if I did that but SHIT came out. God...

MartinC wrote:Haha, yeah I was really really lucky considering. It was literally 5 minutes after she left. I'm surprised it didn't happen whilst she was there, because one of my favourite past-times with her in bed was to do a horrible fart then pull the covers up over her head, whilst giggling like a school girl. Imagine if I did that but SHIT came out. God...

speaking of farts,if you see in my first story in this thread,i find them funny to this day and always will,they are funny on 3 levels,1:the noises/sounds are the best,then 2;the smell,(already 2 assaults to the senses,to the ears and noses of yourself and others around you)then 3:the linger time(the longer and stronger it remains,the better,and more people it annoys)

anyway you saying about farting in bed to annoy her under the covers reminds me of another story.
i had an ex and she detested farting,that didnt stop me though.most of the time id fart in bed(sometimes one or multiple depending if we had had a good day or not ) and when she has a go at me id pretend to mumble/groan as if i was asleep and oblivious to it.when in fact i was facing the other way grinning and silently cracking up.(bit like on dumb and dumber when they give that guy the chillis in the burger and keep giggling)
anyway,one hot summer eve,i was bout to get in bed and she had the quilt wrapped tightly around her and wouldnt let me get in.
i said "stop messing around"and tried to grab my half of the quilt,but she said "please you cant get in yet".and i said "why the hell not?" but she wouldnt say so i had enough of her little games and yanked the cover off her and was hit with the most wrong,vile utter ghastly disgusting stink of which id never smelt anything like in my life...ever!

PART 2 cont...
i said "corrr thats really really bad trudi" and altough i was saying it light heartedly she got angry and said"i told you to just wait"and i said "you shoulda just explained in the first place,but hey dont worry,thats ma girl(tryna joke about it)" she then got upset and tearful(so i shut up),coz it was her first fart she'd done in front of me and im glad she never did one before or after this brutal one.
for all the ones id ever done around her,it was like she was saving and brewing this ultimate bomb over the months we had been together.
female farts are just wrong;it wasnt veggie,it wasnt eggie,it wasnt meaty,it wasnt pre-shitty(usually the 4 classic fart smells)
it was something else undescribable,it had elements of egg and veg but the secret ingrediant of something gone off and rotting or like a dead animal.
so although farts are funny,female ones should be banned.no wonder they dont do them much.its not coz they are afraid of being unladylike its because they are unhumanly smelling.
it was what i refer to as"a ninja fart" silent but deadly

Haha, this is so funny!

Raging Paul needs to tell the hot curry bum sludge story.

Oh Christ, that sounds bad already.

i had to do the above post in 2 parts(incase i got logged out for taking too long,sometimes it logs me out in the middle of a large post and pisses me off)
anyway read part 2 and enjoy!

I still refuse to believe girls poo.

yeah,trudi never once went for a shit in the year i was with her,and believe me after that fart,id know if shed ever been for a shit when using our bathroom
its a complete mystery.

haha I agree girls just cant poo it's not right!

I'm certain a girl I was with once actually had skid marks in her underwear, it was not pleasant.

I probably shouldn't hump girls like that.

Mate...