thrashduck wrote:What do you call a black man flying a plane?

A pilot you racist.

Haha! Fucking love that one!

Dunno if this fits in here, but it is where I'll put it. I hope this one is true, I very much like it:

(+ware) I rear-ended a car this morning. So there we are alongside the road and
(+ware) slowly the driver gets out of the car . . . and you know how you just get sooo
(+ware) stressed and life seems to get funny?
(+ware) Well, I could NOT believe it . . he was a DWARF! He storms over to my car,
(+ware) looks up at me and says, "I AM NOT HAPPY!"
(+ware) So, I look down at him and say, "Well, which one are you then?"... and
(+ware) THAT'S when the fight started . .

Metalbrew Stu wrote:Dunno if this fits in here, but it is where I'll put it. I hope this one is true, I very much like it:

(+ware) I rear-ended a car this morning. So there we are alongside the road and
(+ware) slowly the driver gets out of the car . . . and you know how you just get sooo
(+ware) stressed and life seems to get funny?
(+ware) Well, I could NOT believe it . . he was a DWARF! He storms over to my car,
(+ware) looks up at me and says, "I AM NOT HAPPY!"
(+ware) So, I look down at him and say, "Well, which one are you then?"... and
(+ware) THAT'S when the fight started . .

That's bloody great.

Craig wrote:Resurrecting this thread slightly, here's one I came up with in a stupidly boring uni lecture:

Q: What's Madeline McCann's favourite Disney film?
A: The Little Mermaid - all together now..... "Under the sea.....under the sea....."

This reminds me of one my mate thought up:

What's the difference between Madeline McCann and Madeline McCann jokes?



Madeline McCann will never get old.

Madelaine's parents have said that they are facing a "difficult" christmas.While they have my deepest sympathy,they might have thought of that before they raped her and tossed her body into the bloody sea!

A guy has been asking the prettiest girl in town for a date and finally she agrees to go out with him. He takes her to a nice restaurant and buys her a fancy dinner with expensive wine.

On the way home, he pulls over to the side of the road in a secluded spot. They start necking and he's getting pretty excited. He starts to reach under her skirt and she stops him, saying she's a virgin and wants to stay that way.

"Well, okay," he says, "how about a blow job?" "Yuck!" she screams. "I'm not putting that thing in my mouth!"

He says, "Well, then, how about a hand job?" "I've never done that," she says. "What do I have to do?"

"Well," he answers, "remember when you were a kid and you used to shake up a Coke bottle and spray your brother with it?" She nods. "Well, it's just like that."

So, he pulls it out and she grabs hold of it and starts shaking it. A few seconds later, his head flops back on the headrest, his eyes close, snot starts to run out of his nose, wax blows out of his ear and he screams out in pain.

"What's wrong?!" she cries out.

"Take your thumb off the end!!"

A guy walks into a pet shop and asks if he can buy a wasp...

The girl behind the counter says, "a wasp? We don't sell wasps!"

The guy replies, "well why do you have 2 in the window then?"


hahaha

GoreBastard wrote:A guy walks into a pet shop and asks if he can buy a wasp...

The girl behind the counter says, "a wasp? We don't sell wasps!"

The guy replies, "well why do you have 2 in the window then?"


hahaha

Oh lord that's a new low.

GoreBastard wrote:A guy walks into a pet shop and asks if he can buy a wasp...

The girl behind the counter says, "a wasp? We don't sell wasps!"

The guy replies, "well why do you have 2 in the window then?"


hahaha

Haha, that actually made me laugh quite hard.

MartinC wrote:

GoreBastard wrote:A guy walks into a pet shop and asks if he can buy a wasp...

The girl behind the counter says, "a wasp? We don't sell wasps!"

The guy replies, "well why do you have 2 in the window then?"


hahaha

Haha, that actually made me laugh quite hard.

See, people who don't like that joke are stupid!
I love it.

I didn't get it at all, I was trying to work out some sort of play on words. What an anti-climax .

James wrote:I didn't get it at all, I was trying to work out some sort of play on words. What an anti-climax .

It's like, he sees two wasps flying around at the window of the shop as he walks past, and because it's a pet shop, he assumes that they're for sale!!!

I think that's class...

Yes, I had since got it..

n00b

i lolled at that joke. sheer textbook.