Welcome to UK Thrash!

The Bad Jokes Thread

For all off topic discussion

Moderators: James, Craig, Resilience Records

Postby James on Thu Jun 07, 2007 11:19 pm

demonic-dave wrote:"Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."


:lol: :lol:
thrashduck wrote:And the internet was without uk thrash form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of James moved upon the face of the waters.

"No Hellscourger, I would not like a strawberry."
James
Administrator
User avatar
 
Posts: 8334
Joined: Wed Mar 22, 2006 6:17 pm
Location: Witham, Essex

Postby GoreBastard on Thu Jun 07, 2007 11:34 pm

2 tampons walk past each other in the street. Neither of them say a word to each other.

Why?

Because they're both stuck up cunts.
fuckin lol!
GoreBastard
User avatar
 
Posts: 1718
Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2007 8:26 am
Location: Quiverpool

Postby Immortalicide on Fri Jun 08, 2007 9:41 pm

Quentin and tarquin are having rampant gay sex in an alleyway a couple of hours after meeting in a gay bar. " i have full blown aids you know" says quentin. "FUCKING WHAT!!!!!????" yells tarquin. "I dont really" says Quentin, "I just love the way it made your arse tighten when i said it"
Image
Immortalicide
User avatar
 
Posts: 3184
Joined: Sat Feb 03, 2007 7:08 pm
Location: Bah! Pfft! Tut & Humph!!!

Postby Craig on Wed Nov 28, 2007 2:18 pm

Resurrecting this thread slightly, here's one I came up with in a stupidly boring uni lecture:

Q: What's Madeline McCann's favourite Disney film?
A: The Little Mermaid - all together now..... "Under the sea.....under the sea....."
Personal Site | Freelance Web Design | Last.fm

Image

Bash.org wrote:<Patrician|Away> what does your robot do, sam
<bovril> it collects data about the surrounding environment, then discards it and drives into walls
Craig
Administrator
User avatar
 
Posts: 981
Joined: Wed Mar 22, 2006 7:06 pm
Location: Witham, Essex, UK

Postby Nickligature on Wed Nov 28, 2007 2:35 pm

A man driving his car crashes into another driven by a midget. Said midget get's out of the wreck and storms up to the guy furious and says,

"I'm not happy"
To which the guy replies,

"so which one are you"


I thank you. :doh:
Now just Nick :)
Nickligature
 
Posts: 184
Joined: Fri Feb 09, 2007 1:54 pm
Location: London

Postby boovidge on Wed Nov 28, 2007 3:00 pm

Craig wrote:Resurrecting this thread slightly, here's one I came up with in a stupidly boring uni lecture:

Q: What's Madeline McCann's favourite Disney film?
A: The Little Mermaid - all together now..... "Under the sea.....under the sea....."


thats so terrible :lol:
Metal Iain wrote:This board has nothing to do with the 'scene'. It's more just about 10 or so pricks who used to like Thrash that, for one reason or another, waste a lot of time posting on here.


Image
boovidge
User avatar
 
Posts: 3296
Joined: Mon Sep 25, 2006 11:03 am
Location: Brighton

Postby boovidge on Wed Nov 28, 2007 3:07 pm

knock knock

who's there?

not Maddie
Metal Iain wrote:This board has nothing to do with the 'scene'. It's more just about 10 or so pricks who used to like Thrash that, for one reason or another, waste a lot of time posting on here.


Image
boovidge
User avatar
 
Posts: 3296
Joined: Mon Sep 25, 2006 11:03 am
Location: Brighton

Postby Nickligature on Wed Nov 28, 2007 3:37 pm

Man arrives at a fancy dress party with a condom on his nose. When asked what he has come as the man replies

"fuck nose"

I thank you.
Now just Nick :)
Nickligature
 
Posts: 184
Joined: Fri Feb 09, 2007 1:54 pm
Location: London

Postby jonny_boy34 on Wed Nov 28, 2007 3:44 pm

A man walks into a bar.
jonny_boy34
User avatar
 
Posts: 6438
Joined: Thu Dec 21, 2006 2:01 pm
Location: North-West London

Postby thrashduck on Wed Nov 28, 2007 4:24 pm

A seal walks into a club.
IN A BAND?! SEND ME NEWS NOW!
http://www.facebook.com/ukthrashpodcast

NEKROKANNIBAL wrote: delete this account now coz this forum is pure fuckin gay lame shit
thrashduck
User avatar
 
Posts: 6732
Joined: Fri Mar 02, 2007 5:03 am
Location: Super Leeds

Postby jonny_boy34 on Wed Nov 28, 2007 4:49 pm

There was a man, and his name was George.
jonny_boy34
User avatar
 
Posts: 6438
Joined: Thu Dec 21, 2006 2:01 pm
Location: North-West London

Postby James on Wed Nov 28, 2007 5:58 pm

boovidge wrote:knock knock

who's there?

not Maddie


'not Maddie' who?
thrashduck wrote:And the internet was without uk thrash form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of James moved upon the face of the waters.

"No Hellscourger, I would not like a strawberry."
James
Administrator
User avatar
 
Posts: 8334
Joined: Wed Mar 22, 2006 6:17 pm
Location: Witham, Essex

Postby Craig on Wed Nov 28, 2007 9:23 pm

boovidge wrote:
Craig wrote:Resurrecting this thread slightly, here's one I came up with in a stupidly boring uni lecture:

Q: What's Madeline McCann's favourite Disney film?
A: The Little Mermaid - all together now..... "Under the sea.....under the sea....."


thats so terrible :lol:


:lol: I know, that's how boring my lecture was!
Personal Site | Freelance Web Design | Last.fm

Image

Bash.org wrote:<Patrician|Away> what does your robot do, sam
<bovril> it collects data about the surrounding environment, then discards it and drives into walls
Craig
Administrator
User avatar
 
Posts: 981
Joined: Wed Mar 22, 2006 7:06 pm
Location: Witham, Essex, UK

Postby ribbons69 on Wed Nov 28, 2007 9:59 pm

James wrote:
boovidge wrote:knock knock

who's there?

not Maddie


'not Maddie' who?

Not Maddie who got fucked up the bum by her Dad,before being killed with a spade by her Mum.
"Thorn wishes aegis,rapturous beasts below"
"Aegis arising,the colours of space"






we fall to rise
ribbons69
User avatar
 
Posts: 1488
Joined: Fri Mar 02, 2007 9:45 pm
Location: the mirror black

Postby STD_Caps on Wed Nov 28, 2007 11:27 pm

Nickligature wrote:Man arrives at a fancy dress party with a condom on his nose. When asked what he has come as the man replies

"fuck nose"

I thank you.


:lol:

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

The food is great but there's no atmosphere.

We were telling shit jokes at school today. That was the least bad.
"And what about the churches and all their wealth
There's an unseen fortune under their belts
Are golden temples a symbol of God's way
This horde of wealth is a sickening display"
STD_Caps
 
Posts: 1872
Joined: Fri Oct 06, 2006 5:39 pm
Location: Kent