fingers and a toothpick

swizzlenuts wrote:http://www.poopreport.com/Poll/stand_or_sit.html


Holy crap!

One of the comments from that site:

"An English gent (not verified) -- 12.21.2005
I normally sit whilst wiping, lifting my left buttock to get access to the arsehole. Generally, I sit upright to wipe, but sometimes I lean forward. I normally wipe from the rear, from front to back. Occasionally, for variety, I wipe from between my legs, from back to front. If I am confident that my arse is more or less clean when I start (no great chunks adhering) I will stand up to wipe. I then stand upright to attention; I do not lean forward with my bum sticking out behind me. I always use the paper in sheets of "three ply" and do not screw the paper up before applying it to the arsehole. Most of my friends sit to wipe. I have known three Germans who stood up, but two of them began by wiping from a sitting position,before standing up for the main wipe. I have an English friend who stands up. I had an English friend who raised his arse off the seat, put his head right down below his knees and wiped between his legs from back to front. I have an English friend who wipes both from behind and between his legs. He leans well forwward to wipe. I had a Polish friend who raised his arse well above the seat to wipe from behind, but did not stand up fully. I had a Korean friend who stood up really straight when he wiped. He also sat "to attention" when he evacuated and did not lean forward at all. Virtually all my other friends whose habits I know of remain seated to finish off the job, possibly raising one buttock, but often not moving the buttocks except to lean further forward, either pushing the paper down through the bum crack (back to front), or pulling it upwards (front to back)."

I keep my left foot on the ground and my left cheek on the bog seat, raise my right knee and right arse cheek and get to work mopping up the blood and shit. This is not only a good way to wipe, but also a good way to break toilet seats.

Who the fucking hell stands up. That would be revolting.

hey whats its like to take a shit while running at full speed?

Enter wrote:hey whats its like to take a shit while running at full speed?

Ask Paula Radcliffe.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-83lk1b1vE

Or this dude.

I stand up.
I can just imagine trying to get my arm under my fat old arse cheeks,slipping back down and trapping myself in the bog.
You lot are all weirdo's.

just fucking lean forward!

ribbons69 wrote:I stand up.
I can just imagine trying to get my arm under my fat old arse cheeks,slipping back down and trapping myself in the bog.
You lot are all weirdo's.

Doesn't it like get all over your arse cheeks as they close back together, as opposed to sitting where they are always a fair distance apart keeping clear access to the arsehole?

this thread is so fucked!

Bangover wrote:this thread is so fucked!

UK Thrash: We wipe our asses sitting down!