Knock knock
Who's there?
The rapist... SUPRISE!!
Joke Thread
Moderators: James, Craig, Resilience Records
by Styxx on Wed Oct 10, 2007 1:46 am
I'm going to
Tear your fuckin' eyes out,
Rip your fuckin' flesh off,
Beat you 'till you're just a fucking lifeless carcass,
Fuck you and your progress,
Watch me fucking regress,
You were made to take the fall,
Now you're nothing!!
Tear your fuckin' eyes out,
Rip your fuckin' flesh off,
Beat you 'till you're just a fucking lifeless carcass,
Fuck you and your progress,
Watch me fucking regress,
You were made to take the fall,
Now you're nothing!!
- Styxx
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by James on Mon Oct 15, 2007 12:46 am
Q: What did the Leper say to the prostitute?
A: Keep the tip!
A: Keep the tip!
thrashduck wrote:And the internet was without uk thrash form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of James moved upon the face of the waters.
"No Hellscourger, I would not like a strawberry."
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by terrorizer on Mon Oct 15, 2007 8:29 am
Wouldn't he have been wearing a condom?
"If you want a picture of the future of UK Thrash, imagine a boot stamping on a Member's face, forever."
- terrorizer
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by Styxx on Mon Oct 15, 2007 1:09 pm
Win! 
I'm going to
Tear your fuckin' eyes out,
Rip your fuckin' flesh off,
Beat you 'till you're just a fucking lifeless carcass,
Fuck you and your progress,
Watch me fucking regress,
You were made to take the fall,
Now you're nothing!!
Tear your fuckin' eyes out,
Rip your fuckin' flesh off,
Beat you 'till you're just a fucking lifeless carcass,
Fuck you and your progress,
Watch me fucking regress,
You were made to take the fall,
Now you're nothing!!
- Styxx
- Posts: 1250
- Joined: Tue Jan 30, 2007 2:31 am
- Location: Huddersfield
by terrorizer on Mon Oct 15, 2007 1:23 pm
Killjoy strikes again!
"If you want a picture of the future of UK Thrash, imagine a boot stamping on a Member's face, forever."
- terrorizer
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by terrorizer on Sat Nov 03, 2007 10:28 pm
Ed went to see the Doctor. The Doctor asked what was wrong.
"Don't laugh!" said the patient Ed.
"Of course I won't laugh," the doctor said. "I'm a professional.
In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient".
"Okay then," Ed said, and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the smallest penis the doctor had ever seen. It couldn't have been bigger than the size of a AAA battery.
Unable to control himself, the doctor started giggling, then fell laughing to the floor. Ten minutes later he was able to struggle to his feet and regain his composure.
"I'm so sorry," said the doctor. "I really am. I don't know what came over me. On my honour as a doctor and a gentleman, I promise it won't happen again. Now what seems to be the problem?"
"It's swollen," Ed replied
"Don't laugh!" said the patient Ed.
"Of course I won't laugh," the doctor said. "I'm a professional.
In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient".
"Okay then," Ed said, and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the smallest penis the doctor had ever seen. It couldn't have been bigger than the size of a AAA battery.
Unable to control himself, the doctor started giggling, then fell laughing to the floor. Ten minutes later he was able to struggle to his feet and regain his composure.
"I'm so sorry," said the doctor. "I really am. I don't know what came over me. On my honour as a doctor and a gentleman, I promise it won't happen again. Now what seems to be the problem?"
"It's swollen," Ed replied
"If you want a picture of the future of UK Thrash, imagine a boot stamping on a Member's face, forever."
- terrorizer
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by thrashduck on Wed Nov 14, 2007 3:51 pm
Funny, tragic... and real.
The South African Floor Polisher Massacre - Reported in the Cape Times.
The paper reports that every Friday over a period of months a couple of years ago, hospital staff found the patient occupying a certain bed in intensive care lying dead with no apparent cause. At first it seemed coincidental. Then doctors feared a 'killer disease'.
Deaths continued.
Finally, a nurse noticed the Friday cleaning lady doing her weekly chores. This maid would enter the ward, unplug the life-support system beside the bed, plug in her floor polisher, clean the ward, and once again plug in the patient, leaving no trace of the cause of the patient's death.
How many died in the South African Floor Polisher Massacre? Possibly several. The Free State health and welfare department won't comment but is investigating.
The South African Floor Polisher Massacre - Reported in the Cape Times.
The paper reports that every Friday over a period of months a couple of years ago, hospital staff found the patient occupying a certain bed in intensive care lying dead with no apparent cause. At first it seemed coincidental. Then doctors feared a 'killer disease'.
Deaths continued.
Finally, a nurse noticed the Friday cleaning lady doing her weekly chores. This maid would enter the ward, unplug the life-support system beside the bed, plug in her floor polisher, clean the ward, and once again plug in the patient, leaving no trace of the cause of the patient's death.
How many died in the South African Floor Polisher Massacre? Possibly several. The Free State health and welfare department won't comment but is investigating.
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by Immortalicide on Wed Jan 02, 2008 10:33 pm
did you hear about the vicar who wrapped the bellringing rope round his cock?????
he got tolled off !!!
he got tolled off !!!
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by thrashduck on Wed Jan 02, 2008 10:34 pm
My dad told me this one today, probably stolen from somewhere...
"Two monkeys are in a bath, one says.. Ooh ooh aahh ahh!
The other monkey says: "Put more cold in then!"
"Two monkeys are in a bath, one says.. Ooh ooh aahh ahh!
The other monkey says: "Put more cold in then!"
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NEKROKANNIBAL wrote: delete this account now coz this forum is pure fuckin gay lame shit
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by Immortalicide on Wed Jan 02, 2008 10:47 pm
thrashduck wrote:My dad told me this one today, probably stolen from somewhere...
"Two monkeys are in a bath, one says.. Ooh ooh aahh ahh!
The other monkey says: "Put more cold in then!"
my dad told me that one too, when i was about 5 i think, and his dad, and his dad etc etc etc
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by James on Thu Jan 03, 2008 1:17 am
^ Swizzlenuts got there first!
thrashduck wrote:And the internet was without uk thrash form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of James moved upon the face of the waters.
"No Hellscourger, I would not like a strawberry."
- James
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